I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize