He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
