can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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