apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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