Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
