In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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