Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
