Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sorry about my life...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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