apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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