he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
