She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
