Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
