D3 body, D1 cock
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
