Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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