That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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