Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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