what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
