Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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