So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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