I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
