I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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