The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
