idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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