you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
