This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
