spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize