Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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