can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
