Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
