Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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