he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
