i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
