would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
