Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
