She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think my fart just growled at me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
