Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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