Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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