her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Someone shit on the floor
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
