sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
