She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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