I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
