Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
we should paint friendship bongs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
