Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My nipple is on Facebook.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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