Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize