in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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