Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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