We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
