Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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