Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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