i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
