i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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