I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
