I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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