The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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