Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My dick has a subreddit
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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