none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
