Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
