At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
