since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize