You're so nebulous sometimes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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